Now all I need are "my people".
Now you can bask in the spotlight of your very own red carpet experience, without the indignity of having yourself splattered across the brain-numbing pages of fatuous magazines.
These nine members of the worlds snapping media come complete with the ethical and moral depth of an earthworm, are blissfully mute, and will make you feel as adored and sought-after as you no doubt should be.
Become a legend in your own lunchtime, a super-star in your sitting room, or a diva at your desk.
And best of all, if the paparazzi get on your nerves, you can satisfyingly stamp on 'em without fear of them whimpering off to file a suit against you. Fame without any of the drawbacks.
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