Job Interview Quotations

Things you should never say or do on a job interview:

Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.

• A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.
• Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.
• Candidate fell and broke arm during interview.
• Candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fies in the interviewers office.
• Candidate explained that her long-term goals was to replace the interviewer.
• Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.
• Balding Candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a headpiece.
• Applicant said if he was hired he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
• Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.
• Candidate brought large dog to interview.
• Applicant refused to sit down and insisted on being interviewed standing up.
• Candidate dozed off during interview.
• The employers were also asked to list the "most unusual" questions that have been asked by job candidates.
• "What is it that you people do at this company?"
• "What is the company motto?"
• "Why aren't you in a more interesting business?"
• "What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?"
• "Why do you want references?"
• "Do I have to dress for the next interview?"
• "I know this is off the subject, but will you marry me?"
• "Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?"
• "Will the company pay to relocate my horse?"
• "Does your health insurance cover pets?"
• "Would it be a problem if I'm angry most of the time?"
• "Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?"
• "Do you think the company would be willing to lower my pay?"
• "Why am I here?"

Here are a number of unusual statement made by candidates during the interview process:

• I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement.
• At times I have the strong urge to do something harmful or shocking.
• I feel uneasy indoors.
• Sometimes I feel like smashing things.
• Women should not be allowed to drink in cocktail bars.
• I think that Lincoln was greater than Washington.
• I get excited very easily.
• Once a week, I usually feel hot all over.
• I am fascinated by fire.
• I like tall women.
• Whenever a man is with a woman he is usually thinking about sex.
• People are always watching me.
• If I get too much change in a store, I always give it back.
• Almost everyone is guilty of bad sexual conduct.
• I must admit that I am a pretty fair talker.
• I never get hungry.
• I know who is responsible for most of my troubles
• If the pay was right, I'd travel with the carnival.
• I would have been more successful if nobody would have snitched on me.
• My legs are really hairy.
• I think I'm going to throw-up.

from Mental Soup