Last night I went with my esteemed colleague Benjamin Fund to the Red Bull Snow Board Rail Jam. Rail Jam is a thirty snowboarder jam fest off a nine story snow ramp that feeds into two ramps, each rider gets to go as big as possible to win fifty thousand dollars in prize money. Quickly approaching the nine story snowscaper the smell of red bull and fresh powder overpowered the air.
Our first obstacle at the event was entrance. The first gate we approached was VIP entrance; since we have not been downgraded to IPs we decided to give it a shot. The guy at the door told us to form a line to the right of a fence which we did, putting us only about six people from the front of the line. Ben and I quickly strategized how to enter through the VIP gate. Do we say we work for Burton Snowboards or Mountain Hardware? I had my MTV Employee ID and was prepared to use the old stalwart “my boss is in there and told me to find him.” After about seven minutes of waiting the doorman let in the first 10 people in line into the VIP viewing area, no questions asked, which included us. We walked in to be told that the boat, a giant circle line cruise ship docked in the east river, was at capacity and we would have to watch from this other grandstand. Ben and I climbed up to the top of the grandstand to revel in the extremeness of the event and drink some free red bull. At this point we were probably fifteen feet away from the giant ramp in a completely fenced off VIP area away from common folk or “normies” as they are also referred to. Yet something was awry in this VIP area. Everyone had a badge on that signified they were VIP. Obviously we realized we needed credentials if we wanted to be official VIPs. Spotting a credential tent about 20 feet away we made our way over again strategizing on how to get badges. There were two people in front of us, one of which was arguing with the women with the list that she needs her badge as soon as possible. Being the polite young gentleman that we are, we noticed that it was quite dark and the girl that reading the list in the dark was straining on the eyes. Thus we offered to hold our cell phone over the list to provide her some reading light. She loved our kind gesture and with a quick glance at the list, Adam Moran +1 had All Access VIP rail jam passes.
Naturally we walked over towards the party boat, only to hear that it was at capacity. The boat bouncer motioned to his right, towards an opening in the metal barrier. Following his motion we passed through an opening that lead us right under the ramp. After watching the first round of snowboards practically leaping over us, the brutal cold control and we decided to wander around in hopes of some snacks and a bathroom. We walked towards a food tent and wound up in the middle of the snowboard base camp. There we met Scott Lago who just pulled a 720 mctwist with only one binding but over rotated and almost took a huge digger feet away from a capacity crowd. Lago was upset with his ride, but appreciative that we like the way he shreds and took a picture with us. Lago tired after the run yelled for someone to hold the ‘vator since he couldn’t climb the nine stories of stairs to the top of the ramp and that he would catch us brahs later.
Next, we entered a tent which was filled with brooding young red bull girls and cases of red bull to the sky. The tent was also equipped with a heater which was a huge upgrade from the blistering cold outside. With red bull plundered and the red bull girls entertained, we exited the tent to see none other than Shawn White hanging around the base camp. I approached the Flying Tomato giving him a pound and congratulating him on a sick 900 rodeo. Ben and I were able to procure a photo with him when an older woman came up to him and said “Shawn you look cold” which he replied “I’m just fine mom.” At that point we decided after meeting Shawn White and his mother there was nothing left for us to do since we would not be able to get to the top of the ramp. We exited East River Park VIP’s and newly minted champions of yet another event we had no place being. As we walked away we could hear the wind whispering “sha brah mission accomplished sha”.
Update 1: Photos to be posted shortly.
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